November is National Blog Posting Month and I’m trying
my hardest hard to write a post every day for 30 days. While I love blogging, I often struggle to find the time. But, at least for month of November, I’m taking a no excuses approach. Every post won’t be prolific and every post won’t contain an epiphany, but every post will be a little window into my life.
If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
My self-esteem, hands down. There are plenty of other things that come to mind, but first and foremost – self-esteem. I can’t remember a time when I had a healthy self-esteem. I’ve always been overly critical of myself and dismissed my own skills and talents. And, even knowing that, I still have that same lacking self-esteem.
There are times when I’d love to know how people really see me. Really, truly. Not how they want me to think they see me. I’d like the opportunity to really know. Sort of like going to your own funeral or wake, but without the creepy death part… or making everyone think you’re dead.
I figure a lot of my own internal turmoil would be resolved if my self-esteem was stronger and could take a lickin’ and keep on tickin.’ As it stands right now, I’m terribly sensitive and let just about everything get to me, causing me to second guess myself and question motives (my own and others). It can makes things less than pleasant at times and I’m pretty sure my kids can pick up on it… and that is the part I want to change the most. I don’t want my own self-esteem issues to have a negative impact on my kids. Instead, I want to do whatever I can to cultivate a strong self-esteem for each of them so in 30 years, they can answer this same question differently.