I still love Erie. The people. The city. The weather. The nature. The culture. The atmosphere. The location. I love it all.
But today, I miss Raleigh. The healthcare. (Yes, I miss my people too…but among 1 million+ people, my own people were a very small drop in the bucket.)
I obviously took for granted (for almost 20 years) that I lived in almost a medical Mecca…surrounded by Duke University Health System and University of North Carolina Health Care. I lived just minutes from two places where geniuses come to learn to be world-renowned geniuses in medicine. I may hate on UNC and Duke for sports, but they were the go-to for health care.
Long story, but I started feeling crummy back in June. I’ve been seeing my doctor on a pretty regular since July, trying to figure out what was causing my symptoms and what I could do to alleviate them. Apparently, my blood is pretty unremarkable…which can be good and bad. Good, no thyroid issues, no lupus, no lyme disease, no acute mono, no crazy cell counts. Bad, nothing that screams, “You have ____.” Without going into a lot of detail, I’ve lost complete faith and trust in my own doctor at this point because she doesn’t seem to realize the impact this is having on my life (and the lives of my family members) and she isn’t following through with a number of things she agreed to test or make referrals for. While that may seem silly or like I’m overreacting, it’s just plain offensive at this point.
So now I’m struggling to find another physician. I just want to feel better. Do I know for certain that my old doctor in Raleigh (who I adored…she once wrote me a script for 20 minutes of “me time” each day) would have given me a diagnosis already? Honestly, I don’t. But, I do feel pretty sure that she wouldn’t make me feel dismissed as a patient or as a person.
And we all know what happens when you can’t get the answer to something medical. You eventually consult Dr. Google. Dr. Google graduated from the school of hard knocks as a Doctor of “you’ve got cancer or a hangnail.” Yeah, so Google hasn’t really helped much other than to say my symptoms are…wait for it… unremarkable. That may be my anti-word for 2016. Unremarkable.
At this point, I’m moving forward under the premise that I’m
fat plush and should work on improving my diet and exercise. Which sounds great, but that’s what I was doing when I started feeling so bad. I went from being able to jog on the treadmill for 60-75 minutes no problem, to struggling to walk at a crazy slow pace for 15 minutes. But, I feel like I don’t have a whole lot of options and at least if I’m doing something, I feel empowered. Sort of. A little. Maybe.