When life seems to be full of challenge and opportunity (see Dad, I did listen), many of us question the path that led us to those challenges and opportunities. Either internally or through conversations with family and friends, the question inevitably comes up, “do you regret it?” I can honestly say I have no regrets. Not a single obstacle, speed bump or adversity has happened in my life that makes me wish I’d taken a different path. Full disclosure here… I don’t LOVE every step of the journey, but I do LOVE that God created that journey for me. Each of those challenges help to mold me into the person I am right now. The empath. The loving momma. The strong-willed child (yeah, I do know where Abby gets it from…I just choose to ignore it). The compassionate friend. The selfless coworker. The passionate partner. (Truth be told, I couldn’t come up with these on my own…I had to ask some of y’all).
Do I regret my marriage? Absolutely not. I had the blessing to love someone unconditionally for over 20 years. We shared highs and lows. But, there are some things I don’t believe love alone can overcome. I thought of how important that love and the relationships I’ve built as a result of my marriage over the years. Just yesterday, I celebrated (at a distance) two very wonderful women in my life. Both came into my life as a result of my marriage (or at least the relationship that turned into my marriage). Both ladies were at my wedding. Both have helped me through my crazy life in different ways and both are amazing women who exemplify strength, love, loyalty and commitment.
Do I regret reconciling my marriage nearly a decade ago. Absolutely not. I’ve grown so much as a person, and more importantly, as a Christian, during the last decade. And I honestly believe that was a direct result of my marriage. The good parts and the not-so-good parts. I am a mom of three beautiful children… and two of those little ones were born during our reconciliation. I wouldn’t give that up for anything.
To be honest, I had every hope and prayer that my own marriage could overcome anything. And I truly believe the hard reality of the ending of my marriage is a chance for each of us to draw closer to God and to open ourselves to healing that we may not have allowed in the past. It isn’t going to be easy, for me, for him or for our kids. It’s not easy for our friends and family either. I believe this is the path God has prepared for us and I fully intend to walk that path with Jesus by my side. I’m sure there will be more bumps, bridges washed out, snakes and ugly critters along the way. But I believe that we can all grow from this experience and use our own story to help someone else face the challenges in their own life.